How I Do A Virtual Christmas (British Style)

This month we will be experiencing a very different holiday season due to Covid-19. Perhaps you are unable to be with extended family members or celebrate with friends that live out of town. Less is more this holiday season as we explore quality time with loved ones. It is also an opportunity to reimagine holiday traditions and think about how YOU want to celebrate it without the rituals or rules often imposed by well meaning family members.  

I have gotten used to celebrating the holidays remotely over the past 13 years (living in the U.S), and while I am not looking forward to four family Zoom calls on Christmas day (rather than two due to health issues). Celebrating the holidays virtually also has its upsides that I want to share with you…

My husband and I moved from London to San Francisco in 2007. We moved away from everything and everyone we knew and loved. We also moved away from the holiday decisions around who’s family we were spending Christmas Day with. The hours spent traveling up and down England or across London traffic also dissipated...along with the associated energy and guilt. 

Celebratory communication during all holidays began to happen over Skype instead. 

We started to celebrate the Christmas dinner with friends in San Francisco (also expats living in the US) rather than flying back to England. Later when we had children of our own, the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins would tune in virtually to watch each other opening presents. 

I guess over time this became the expectation and became normal…My family has gotten used to the virtual holiday over 13 years of practice. The downside is the lack of extended family holiday memories, and the potential of a white Christmas. But the upsides includes the following:

Protect Your Time and Energy

We schedule the time of the Zoom calls around our lifestyle (we like to have breakfast before our first call), and set healthy expectations around the duration of the call ahead of time, as we have other households to call and need transition time. 

We noticed an ease that came with ending the group Skype (now Zoom) calls and returning to the Christmas WE wanted. The exhale we took after the sound of the spirited voices talking over each other (after drinking for hours). Due to the time difference (we are eight hours ahead of the U.K) we could take the rest of the day to do what we wanted to do rather than our schedule being dictated by the hosting family member’s agenda. 

Create Your Own Holiday Traditions

Celebrating the holiday as a couple or small family unit separate from extended family allows you to create your own personal holiday traditions or put your own spin on the rituals that have been passed down to you. 

A few years ago I decided to replace new year resolutions with new year wishes. Each of my family members sets 2 - 4 wishes, hopes or goals for the year ahead on a piece of paper (we write it on our holiday card as a keepsake). We share them over dinner and then pack them away with the holiday decorations. It's such a wonderful thing to rediscover each other’s wishes when you unpack the tree decorations or menorah the following year to see what came true! 

How I Do Christmas British Style:

I also carry on the family and cultural traditions that have been passed on to me with my own spin:

• Pulling Christmas crackers at the dining table and wearing the silly paper crowns that burst out of the crackers, as well as the bad jokes. The Christmas Cracker has been an English tradition since the early 1900’s and adds a fun decorative element to the table setting. 

• Cooking a roast turkey dinner...yes turkey as Brits don't celebrate Thanksgiving (until moving to the U.S) and it is an important part of a British Xmas dinner with all the trimmings (side dishes) like stuffing, bread sauce, pigs in blankets (sausage wrapped in bacon), roast potatoes, brussel sprouts etc. 

• Eating Christmas pudding (figgy pudding) that is set alight when brandy is poured over the top of it. I prefer Christmas cake (fruit cake with a layer of marzipan and white fondant icing on top. I remember my mother making the Xmas cake batter weeks in advance so the fruit and booze would marinate together! 

• Watching the Queen’s speech in the afternoon (regardless of how dull it is). 

• Eating earlier in the day like a late lunch and then eating the left-overs in the evening as sandwiches with mayonnaise and cranberry sauce. Along with sausage rolls or mince pies washed down with cups of tea, brandy or more wine. 

• Chilling out and eating the leftovers the next day on what Brits call “Boxing Day''. This tradition dates back to 1660’s when it was custom for the servants of the wealthy to take the day off work to visit their families. The employers would give them a box containing gifts, bonuses and sometimes leftover food. Tradespeople like mail delivery also got a box for the good service throughout the year. 

However you celebrate the holidays I hope you enjoy keeping it simple and easy so you can enjoy the day without stress and worry. Perhaps use this year as an opportunity to break free from tradition, “shoulds” and family expectations.